This morning, one student came to me to challenge the way I graded her quiz. The way her being mad and aggressive made me feel awful for the whole morning. Locking myself in the bathroom, I felt I was the worst person in the world. Suddenly, all the bad thoughts went accross my mind. I felt that I had been failing people's expectations over and over again. I knew some thoughts were just irrational, but I just couldn't find a better way to look at them. I talked to myself, and hoped the words of wisdom would somehow come to my mind. At that moment, I really missed David and my high school friends. I knew they would have answers for me. Not saying that they would know what I should do, but their responses would help me to examine my problems from a wiser and a more rational way.
The words of wisdom didn't happen. Luckily I didn't have much time to feel bad cause I had to teach another class. But I know that was not the end. I am still waiting for the answers to myself.
For my whole life, I have always relied on others' wisdom. Every time I tell myself that I should become the one that gives words of wisdom, not always the one that takes. But over and over again, I find myself cling on others' support and guidance. I wonder when I will become truely independent and wise.
Today, I miss my mentors in life. To me, their wisdom is the best gift one can have in life.
- Oct 13 Sat 2007 10:15
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