Sometimes it is difficult to be human. To be more precise, I find it
harder and harder to "stay as human".

Of course people have different reasons to forget we are humans with
feelings and thoughts. Sometimes it is money, or sometimes it is power.
To me, it is my work. It is so interesting and rewarding that I can't
resist spending more and more time on it. I still go to parties. I still
go to the gym. And I still chat with people. But those are "passively"
given to me, just like tasks assigned to a robot. I no longer actively
think and feel the world. Well, maybe I still do, but not as much as I want.

Two things happened lately that made me think about "staying as human".

The first thing I am going to skip for now because if I do not do laundry
tonight (11 pm already), I pretty much will have to go to San Diego naked.
The second thing is my chat with a college friend. He showed me some stupid funny
pictures of my dear old friends. Under one picture, he wrote "一群人吃完東西在門
口亂聊天大學生活就是這樣青春的很放肆 (a group of people standing nowhere chatting about
nothing after a meal. College life is just so crazy and young.)" Suddenly I
miss my college friends so so so much. I feel that I am missing out a lot. I
can no longer join their meetings, play stupid card games with them (*), or
even have funny chats. I do not even know what they are up to. How long have
I not laughed until my stomach hurts? Not only that, how long have I not
felt emotions, the powerful energy and extravagant happiness.

Ok, I meant to say a lot about my thoughts about staying as a human....but
but but... i have to do laundry..and i hate doing laundry :(

*by the way, hey, folks,if you are reading this, I just want to say I played
the American version of "king-queen- secretary- servant..the ranking may be
wrong, but just that poker game we played last time. The American version is
different but similar. Ha, I just want to say that reminded me so much of
how hard Tuna tried to wake every one up just to play the game, and how much
dried Tofu we had, and how silly we tried to create a dark- night environment
the next day to play the game. I loved that! See you all soon?!


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